Before we get to this list of “best luxury cars”, I feel like you might be wondering about that headline. Why $90,060? I chose that number because the ceiling for my “best cheap cars” post was based on half the average selling price of a new car (more or less), and arbitrarily decided to keep going with that theme and set the floor for this list at approximately twice the current average.
As for the list, itself, I’ll try to answer it the same way you’d probably answer your rich friends if they asked you for help picking a new car: With a question of my own.
No, it’s not anything as pedestrian as, “What do you plan on using it for?” That kind of stuff is for the poors. For the rich people, the real question is: Who are you trying to impress with it?
THE OTHER PRIVATE SCHOOL PARENTS
If you’ve ever dropped off your kid at a private school, you know what a head trip that is. There’s a very distinct sort of class anxiety on display there, in that long line of parents in SUVs and luxury sedans waiting in queue to deposit their little Asher, Eli, or Harper. They’re all looking at each other, trying to figure out where each one sits in the social rankings. That bleach blonde Mean Mom in the 2022 GMC Hummer EV? She’s on top.
With a base price of $108,700, you definitely didn’t pick the Hummer because of its subtlety. No, you picked it because it puts you some 14” above the Model Y – quite literally head and shoulders above the Tesla moms! And they are just everywhere these days, aren’t they?
Not so the Hummer. With a base price nearly double the Tesla’s working with the brand-spanking newness of the thing to keep sightings relatively rare in 2022, the big GMC is sure to stand out. The crab mode and extra-tight U-turn radius, too, will generate smug stares while the other moms struggle to make three-point-turns, while the 1,000 hp Hummer’s rocket-like, 3.0-second 0-60 sprints will fill late Gen-X/elder Millennial Karens with the confidence they need to brake-check a semi on the highway.
In this, its natural habitat, the Hummer’s supremacy is unquestioned.
Despite my best efforts, my teenager barely cares about cars. Maybe he was too spoiled by blasts in tightly wound mongrel GT-Rs, early access to the Great Jack Baruth’s air-cooled Porsche, and exposure to a long string of rowdy, turbocharged Volvos to learn any kind of appreciation great cars. It’s hard to know. What isn’t hard to know, however, is that I harbor little love for Elon Musk, and dude’s Teslas are absolutely everywhere on YouTube, routinely making mincemeat of said GT-Rs and Porsches. My kid misses zero opportunities to share the most particularly embarrassing videos he can find with me, too, so if my next car’s main purpose is to impress him? Nothing but a Tesla Model S Plaid will do.
With a base price of $124,490 for the tri-motor Model S Plaid ($146,490 with Full Self-driving, 21” Arachnid wheels, and white “vegan leather”), the Tesla is well above our “luxury car” floor. And, let’s face it – even if the claimed 1.9 second 0-60 mph time is bunk, there are precious few street-legal cars that would stand a chance against the Plaid in a stoplight grand prix.
Add $2,500 more for the red multi-coat paint to make sure they notice it, and your kid will definitely might even say something nice about your new Plaid!
THE NEIGHBORS (OAK PARK EDITION)
This past summer, someone parked a Rolls Royce Ghost on my block, more or less in front of my buddy Jeff’s house. Within minutes of its arrival, the dad “s” on our block started messaging each other, “Did Jeff buy a Rolls-Royce?”
There was no reason to believe that one of our neighbors had – or even could afford to have ponied up the $311,900 starting price for a (MY2021) Rolls, other than the fact that it was there. It was there, and that was enough to get the suburban gossip train rolling. It was only days later, after the Rolls had left, that anyone even asked Jeff about it. So stunned and awed were we all.
There’s a Karma Revero on my block. One guy has a Magnum P.I. style Ferrari 308GTS. For a while, I had a red-on-red Ford Bronco that was so red you could see it from the International Space Station and a laughably outfitted first-gen Honda CR-V “overlander” finished in a coat of matte, robin’s-egg blue Plasti-dip. No one cared, about any of them.
It wasn’t even a new-for-2022 Black Badge (shown, above). It was just a “base” Ghost and we’re still trying to figure out who it belonged to, and why it was there, months later. It’s a legend, at this point. Like Bigfoot or the coyote that the moms group insists had been terrorizing the local pets, we’ll just have to wait and see if it ever comes back.
I admit, I stole this from Top Gear – but it’s absolutely perfect. Jeremy Clarkson’s “Sigourney Weaver” test goes like this: Imagine you’re a single guy and you’ve somehow managed to score a date with the impossibly cool and collected Sigourney Weaver (or, if you’re a bit younger, let’s say, “Winona Ryder” or “Scarlett Johansson”). You want the lady in question to think you’re cool when you pick them up, so you want to pick the right car – and the right car has to be cool, too. But, and here’s the kicker, any car that you have to explain is, almost by definition, uncool.
Show up in a barking Nissan GT-R or ludicrous mid-engine C8 Corvette and you might get a bit of disinterested side-eye.
“Now I don’t know, but I’d imagine she isn’t terribly interested in cars,” writes Clarkson. “And, as a result, she’d find the Skyline (GT-R) daft. No, really. What would you say if she asked why it had a meter to show how much ‘g’ you were generating in the bends? Answer that and try to sound cool. See? It can’t be done.”
He’s not wrong. When I tried to explain the GT-R’s launch control to my wife, she laughed like a hyena and accused me of not knowing how to drive (which, fair).
Show up in a $173,100 Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG, though? There’s no explanation needed. The big S Class is still the standard against which all other high-powered luxo-barges are measured (whether their brand marketers admit it or not) and requires no explanation. In coupe form, it even feels a bit intimate, despite its nautical dimensions. It’s no jellybean, either, like the new EQS – it’s just a classic long-hood, short-deck coupe that embodies the sort of “personal luxury” the product designers at Lincoln and Cadillac tried (and failed) to emulate for years.
The big Benz manages to have a powerful presence without being flashy or giving off the impression that the driver is trying too hard, and – with a few phone calls to the right tuners – it can even run with that Model S up there. You know, after the date.
I like watches, and the smartest thing I ever said to another person involved a wristwatch. One of my sales guys at the time, Doug, was needling me while I waffled on what was (to me) an expensive watch purchase.
“Why do you want to spend so much money on a watch?” he asked me. “I got this watch,” he said, wrist-rolling a massive, 52 mm Invicta dive watch, “for less than $300, and people ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over it all the time.”
“I don’t care if people ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over it,” I blurted out, thoughtlessly. “I want to be the one who ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ over it.”
Doug had no response. I bought the watch (Just six “easy” payments!), and I continue to ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over it every time I pull it out of its box – and I do the same thing every time I step into my wife’s Volvo XC90 (same payments, just more of ‘em).
We recently reviewed the smaller sibling of this XC90, the XC60, and almost every positive thing you can say about that car can be said about this one – with the addition of a few extra seats. Optioned up to the gills with tech and climate packages, fitted with the R-Design wheels, hopped up with Volvo’s factory Polestar ECU tune, and ordered with your own aerodynamic top box (which my Volvo dealer is nice enough to store for me when I’m not using it), the 2022 XC90 T8 Recharge R-Design’s asking price creeps up to $91,140 – just above our arbitrary luxury car floor.
For that $90K, you get a car with a sub-6-second 0-60 time, the eco-fueled smugness of the plug-in hybrid driver, heated massaging seats, built-in booster for the little people, all-weather excellence, and the unquestioned safety of a premium SUV that has seen zero fatalities over nearly two decades of continuous production. All in a package that could easily be mistaken for a similar XC90 at about half the price. Get yours in Thunder Gray – or a CPO model in the similarly stealthy Osmium Grey – and no one outside the prancing moose community will give you a second look.
If you want all the style, comfort, and peace of mind you can afford, but don’t really care about impressing anyone, the Volvo is your ride.
At least, that’s my opinion – what’s yours? You’re the Best and Brightest, and I know I’m not the only one who puts a lot of thought into a “cost no object” fantasy garage. What luxury rides would you put in there, and who are you trying to impress?
[Images: GMC, Tesla, Rolls-Royce, Ford, Mercedes-Benz, Volvo]
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Those new Hummers look like the car equivalent of Bezos’ rocket.
The original Hummer became a status symbol for the rich in its day. The new battery Hummer may very well repeat history. “Mine is bigger than yours” and in your face virtue signaling. Win/ win for GM.
“That bleach blonde Mean Mom in the 2022 GMC Hummer EV? She’s on top.”
Depends where this private school is. In Houston? Maybe. In Connecticut? Becca doesn’t get invited to the country club for Thursday morning foursomes, and she damn well isn’t getting in herself because her husband would get blackballed for being tacky.
Thank the gods that our second-grader is in (an excellent) in-city public school. There are many more 2002 Camrys with yellow headlights than GLS550s in the pickup line, and nobody gives a Bolt a second look.
Proles need to discover wet sanding of headlights.
I’ve also found Brasso to be excellent for the “get some results by barely doing anything” school of thought.
I tried Brasso and it works. Juss need to be patient,
@28CL Sir, what about Nevr-Dull? I can get it really, really cheap.
You can use super whitening toothpaste also.
I’ve never tried it. I just used some 3M cleaner wax to great success on my 240, didn’t even have to use a buffer.
So what should it be in Connecticut?
Either a TahoBurban/Wagoneer, or (pick a pick a top-line Euro SUV).
Oddly enough, $90k is right about where I (today) would draw the absolute limit in terms of car price. My current cars are worth much less than that (combined) and I have no immediate plans to buy given the disturbed state of the market, but that would be the price point beyond which I just couldn’t go even for my dream car.
But I’d drop the crap factory roof box and the Polestar tune from my XC90 Recharge and it would therefore fit under the limit. ;) The wool interior is the one to get.
I like what you said.
Ha! Nothing like the private school drop off to remind you of the Kris Rock bit, “If poor people knew how rich rich people are there would be riots.” Oh the stay at home mom with a nanny and a housekeeper is dropping her three kids off at their $50k/year school in her GLS 580. Nicely done madam, nicely done!
There is one of those schools a few blocks from me and the most popular expensive car is.. The Mercedes-Benz G-Class AMG G63. That is what the rich mom’s drive their kids to school in.
When I lived in the heart of 60614, the MB SL was as common as pigeons. Here in middle Tennessee I’m more likely to see a Bentley. Not sure why. Maybe the climate.
Allocation. Benz’ system of which stores get what is based on previous history, so if you sold a ton of SLs this year, you get to order a bunch next year. That’s how it used to be, anyway. Bentley doesn’t work that way, so it’s probably easier for a Bentley dealer in TN to get a Bentley than it is for a Benz dealer to get an SL.
Borras – Just wanna say your writing is tops among the TTAC contributors. Grammar/English teacher (not that I’m one) would approve. Helps that you don’t have annoying writing quirks or repetitive gimmicks, e.g. overuse of strike-out font. I enjoy reading your posts even when the subject doesn’t interest me.
Aww, that’s sweet. And don’t worry (you’re secrets safe with me). ;)
I agree! Good writing, and ideas that are provocative rather than tediously political.
Trying to impress people with your vehicle is a fool’s errand. You’re much better off with a job, social group, girlfriend, or whatever that’s more naturally compatible. Buy what you like, keep it clean and properly functioning and it’s all good.
As far as the question itself, a C63S cabriolet is in the low $90K range (we’ll assume I can find one for sale) so I’ll go with that.
I buy things that impress *me*, I care not for the thoughts of others on them.
I wonder if I could get a decent Porsche for that amount. There was an ’01 911 convertible not too far from me that seemed damned reasonable but no room and don’t really need to spend $18,000 or thereabouts.
The very base Boxster GTS 4.0 is just over the limit ($90,850 including destination). Since that is the single Porsche I want the most I’ll count it.
Wow didn’t realize how pricey the Boxster had become.
Around here, if you want to impress people for $90k, you get an F-250 Limited. Base price is (gulp) $88k, so an option or two gets you over 90.
A good friend used to drop his daughters off at the school in his expensive neighbourhood using his 2006 M5 SMGII ( should have bought the manual ). In the Winter he would need a push from the few other Dads present of a morning just to regain the road, even on snow tires. Range Rovers and Escalades abounded there, I’m told, but he tried to make the M5 work year-round. He soon gave up and bought a 2021 4Runner with some of the now-sold M5 money.
My five cars don’t aggregate anywhere near to USD$90,000 but the one that gets the most love from colleagues/friends/strangers is a RWD six-speed manual V8-powered sedan: a 2007 CTS-V. Purchased for CDN$15,000 eight years ago it still hauls the mail when required or – far more often – gets me to work and back trouble-free.
I can’t say that I’m not a little smug when I hear colleagues moaning about their car payments or, worse, lease worries. Buy a good and powerful car with cash and keep it. It’ll pay you dividends in ways you’ll enjoy for years and will soften the resignation you feel whilst looking at the dreck you need to also own to justify the fun one.
Let me know when some of these “Western leaders” start riding buses or bicycles to and from THEIR jobs, mmmmmkay?
FFS, Jerry Brown was widely mocked in the 70s for using a motor pool car and having an apartment instead of living in the Governor’s Mansion. I imagine the same thing would happen now.
If one is going to talk about the best over 90k vehicles in the USA, the conversation is incomplete if you don’t talk about full sized HD pickups. The big three all sell full bling panoramic roofed, leather festooned behemoths with 900 plus pound feet MaxCumStroke diesels.
Yup. An F-350 Limited SRW 8′ bed with all the factory options (before accessories) is somewhere around $94K. (And that’s before the inevitable lift and wider, negative-offset wheels and tires.) In my BIL’s small-town Texas milieu I can’t think of any vehicle of any type that would convey more prestige.
I can’t believe you overlooked the Bentley Continental GT. I think it’s a car for people who don’t really care what others think of them, or their status. I didn’t buy mine until after I had a good marriage, a satisfying career, made some money in a side gig (Ann Arbor real estate), and settled into a comfortable retirement.
I get pleasure from the Bentley just by opening the door to the garage and looking at it. Driving it is just a bonus.
Of course, never having had children, Ineverhad to drop said children off at a private school, so perhaps I’m missing something here.
You debunked the Weaver test: Your wife thinks you’re daft, and you guys love each other. I’d pick up Ryder in whatever I have handy, and hope she is mesmerized by my wit and worldly ways. Ah dreams ….. But if it’s the car she resonates with – well I’m sure she’d just go out and buy one, and I’ll be back to the curb.
That said: I have two car dreams before I kick it – to drive any 60s era Citroen – and to roll in a Gt-R like an OG – or as close as an aging bald Jew can come to that epiphany. (could be surprising – or very very sad).
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